I Can’t Believe I Said Yes to This

There’s a Ripple Effect

person-Image by ‘free photos’ on Pixabay

You won’t believe what I said YES to last year.

I can hardly believe it myself. After hiding in plain sight for years, I made a commitment to become more visible.

When I signed up I had no idea why I was doing it.

Since the kids left home, I’ve been withdrawing into a smaller world. No longer required to show up every day for work or for family, it’s been a lot easier to just say no to invitations.

I started becoming a recluse, happier to stay home and work in the garden than go out and be with people. At first it was a choice, a decision to do some of the things that had been neglected for a long time.

turtle-Image by ‘free photos’ on Pixabay

Eventually it became easier to stay alone.

I withdrew into a shell that included my home, my garden and my family. A few close friends would come by once in a while but they were busy in their own lives too.

Then an invitation popped up on my Facebook feed. It was an invitation to become more…. Visible.

The idea was to talk using videos on Facebook Live and also using an app called Marco-Polo. Our facilitator would help us work through our fears and concerns. She would teach us about lighting and how to show up and be ourselves.

The whole idea intrigued me and at the same time, it made me uncomfortable. I would be showing up to complete strangers, and I would have to talk to people I didn’t know over a live video.

But, I’d always wanted to figure out how to send family video messages and this seemed like an easy way to do it. And it was a safe, protected space.

Boy was I surprised.

Little did I know that I would be revealing my heart.

As I stared at myself on that first Marco-Polo screen, I hesitated, my finger hovering over the start button. And then once I pressed it, my mind went blank and I stumbled over my words, forgetting what I wanted to say and babbling something incoherent.

Worse, I blurted out a secret. Quickly pressing the stop button I hyperventilated for a moment at my computer before gathering myself. I had taken the first step.

Since that moment, I have learned that becoming visible isn’t really about being seen so much as being yourself; being real. It brought me back into living my life again.

Joining this group has really helped me stay connected during the Pandemic. I use the skills I learned in this group every day now. I know how to use Marco Polo.

I already have a Zoom and account and know how to run a meeting. That makes it easy to get together virtually with friends and family.

This group was a life ring thrown and caught by strangers. There was a real ripple effect from joining. Being Visible has given me the gift of true friendship.

The ripple is still spreading.

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